Christmas

Well, the nativity service at church went well (next year it'll be Bubble causing chaos!), all the presents are wrapped and the cards have been posted. So now it's the last minute packing before we head off.

People keep saying that we should enjoy this Christmas - it'll never be the same again. Do they think we don't realise?! I can't believe it's only 11 weeks until D-day - that sounds scarily close to me - and I'm sure the time will fly by once Christmas and New Year are over.

So, to all who read this, have a great Christmas (with or without the chaos of kids) and I wish you all the best for 2008.

On a more positive note...

...I went to the osteopath again yesterday and she said that I'm doing really well, my pelvis is straightening nicely (I certainly don't have the pain I had) and I don't need to go and see her again until February.

...one of the younger kids at church on Sunday said to her Mum "Is Charlotte having a baby?" - which I figure means that I must be really looking pregnant now, if a 7-year-old has noticed.

...I had a good night's sleep last night - the first for a while, as I've been waking up fairly regularly through the nights - so am feeling less sleepy today.

I just don't understand

Can someone explain to me how encouraging me to go into hospital for Bubble's birth will help with anxiety, when the only thing that I am anxious about regarding the birth is it becoming an unnecessarily medical procedure in hospital?

After I'd spoken to WD I phone the midwife's office to book a birthing pool - which she'd said I should do if that was what I wanted. But the office said they couldn't book it because my midwife, CF, hadn't told them of my plans for a home birth. Anyway, after thinking that CF was on holiday, I spoke to her today (apparently she doesn't go on holiday until Wed) about it. She said that in her monthly meeting with the doctors, Dr W (who was really supportive etc all the way through my depression) had been surprised that I want a home birth and CF told me I'd have to speak to Dr W about it, because of my history of anxiety. Whether CF would have given me this news had I not contacted her I don't know, but somehow I think she would have left it until I see her in the second week on January, thereby causing more delay and heel-dragging.
What I don't understand - and if someone can explain then please help - is how not supporting me in my decision for home birth will help with anxiety that is only there when I think about going into hospital for no reason. Surely if I feel that I would be happier, more secure and more relaxed at home, then they should be encouraging this.

I'm rapidly losing trust in CF - I don't feel supported by her, she's not listening to me, and I don't know whether I want to see her again if she's going to make me feel like this.

I've made an appointment to see Dr W in the new year - before my next appointment with CF (if I go to that) so we'll see what happens. Keep watching...

Home birth option

Every time I've been to the midwife (CF) I've said that I want a home birth and she doesn't seem to have been too enthusiastic about it - almost brushing my comments to one side and telling me we'll talk about it later, without writing anything in my notes. This Tuesday I again broached the subject and finally got a reaction, and a documentation in my notes. But it wasn't exactly a response that filled me with confidence - "I will support your decision, but it is hard and it's your first pregnancy and..." - and it left me feeling a bit worried that I would have to fight for what I want, and I definitely don't want that.

But I've just had a long chat with the midwife in charge of home births in the city (WD) (my yoga teacher gave me her number) and am feeling a whole load better about it. She reassured me that I wouldn't have to fight, that home births are being encouraged and that first-pregnancy is certainly not a reason not to go for it. WD works in the south of the city, but there's a new midwife starting in the new year who'll be her counterpart for the north - if I'm still having problems she'll put me in touch with her if I want to. She also said that it might be that CF is just not used to encouraging home births, as it's a relatively new thing on the "agenda" - WD offered to come and discuss everything (birth plan etc) with me and CF if we wanted her to and if it would help us both to feel happier about it.
I know that things may happen and I may have to transfer to hospital, but I only want to do that if I have to for medical reasons, not just because. I want everything to be as natural as possible, in an environment that I know and that I'm comfortable in, and for me, a home birth offers that.

Just relax!

Bubble's fine! It was such a relief to hear the heart beat, good and strong.

Diagnosis - I'm worked up ad stressed. I think the last two weeks - sickness bug, migraine, Dave still not having a job etc - have been a bit too much. And if I'm stressed then Bubble doesn't move as much. So the prescription - chill out, take a bath and relax!

A sleepy baby or something else?

Bubble hasn't been active since the weekend. No movements at all really. It hadn't really worried me, but last night and this morning I've had pains (aching muscle type pain at the sides of my ribs), and now I don't know. For the last few weeks Bubbles been really active - to the point where it was bugging me - and so this is away from the norm for me and Bubble. I just don't know what to think. Is he just having a rest and chilling out after all the activity over the last few weeks, or is there something wrong?

I've got a midwife appointment this afternoon anyway, so Dave's leaving work early to come as well for moral support. Hopefully everything will be OK, but I just don't know what to think. If something is going wrong - and I might be over-stressing too much here - then I just hope that Bubble has a fighting chance. That's all I can pray for.

Boy or girl?

So many people have asked me if I know what we're having. I'm fed up with answering "a baby", and so thought I'd see what theories the internet would come up with. For the past couple of weeks, I've been calling Bubble "he", but am not really sure why. But according to this link, it could be anything, including an asexual being!

Evidence for it being a boy:

• I am craving salty or sour foods
• I am craving protein -- meats and cheese
• Dave is gaining weight, right along with me
• I am having headaches
• I've added my age at the time of conception and the number for the month I conceived and the sum is an even number

Evidence for it being a girl:

• I had morning sickness early in pregnancy
• My left breast is larger than my right breast
• I am craving sweets
• I am craving fruit
• I crave orange juice (see the pattern - I'm just craving food!)

Evidence for it being an asexual being:

• I hang my wedding ring over my belly and it doesn't move!
• My pillow faces neither north nor south when I sleep

Oh how we laughed!!!

Any more theories? Oh well, what will be, will be! I'm just happy to be having a baby!

Water baby?

Today, I braved the swimming costume horror and managed a few lengths
of the local pool. My osteopath told me it would be good for me -
something I really knew, but hadn't done anything about. Before I went
my belly had been feeling sore and heavy, but I'm feeling a lot better
now. Bubble seems to like it too, as he has been quite chilled and
quiet since. The plan is to try and go twice a week - there's suitable
adult-only sessions on Monday evenings and Friday lunchtimes. It can
only be good for me and help me get a bit fitter.

Not the best couple weeks...

It start a week past Monday. Dave had had a stomach bug over the
weekend, but I thought I'd got away without catching it. Ha, what was
I thinking! At work on Monday morning I suddenly felt really rough -
stomach pains and nausea. The locum coordinator managed to get me
emergency cover, and I got home early afternoon. I was only physically
sick once (as Dave had been) on Monday evening, and didn't have any
diarrhoea (which Dave had had), but didn't really feel great until
Wednesday.

Then this Monday I had a little accident at work. I stood on a
kick-stool to reach some tablets down off a shelf, and as I was
stepping off again took a bit of a tumble - not surprising when I
later found out that the kick-stool had been broken. I landed on my
feet and didn't bang anything, but jarred my back and gave myself a
bit of a shock. Went to see the GP on Tuesday morning, having already
felt Bubble move, so not being too concerned. Se confirmed it was
muscular a told me just to rest, but not much so that I seized up!

Luckily I was already going to the osteopath on Tuesday afternoon, so
she did some work with me to loosen things up and straighten the
kinks, and my back - and hips/pelvis - are feeling a lot better now.
Back again in a couple of weeks for more work, but things are moving
in the right direction - including my pelvis which the osteopath
confirmed is straighter than it was.

But that's not the end of the bad fortnight. Not long before shop
closing time yesterday, my head felt not-quite-right ad then the
horrible blurred spot in the eye started. I knew straight away - a
migraine. I haven't had one for about 18 months, so thought those days
were behind me. But this one was a bad one. Dave managed to get a lift
across to bring me home, by which time the blurred vision had gone and
the headache had started in earnest. Feeling like my head was going to
burst and that I might throw up it I moved too much, I went straight
to bed. A fairly restless night and my head was still banging this
morning, so no work for me again. I'm feeling a bit better now - at
least I can emerge out of the darkened room, without cringing away
from the light - but my head is still fairly bad. With only really
being able to take paracetamol, I'm realising how much the triptans
eased the symptoms. I'm just a bit worried now that this is the start
of a whole load again, but fingers crossed that it's just a blip.

I'm wonky!

I've been suffering a bit with niggling pain in my pelvis/hip/buttock.
Don't know exactly what area you'd call it, but it's kind of inside
the top & back of my pelvis. I've had the pain before - even before
being pregnant (when it tended to be after I'd slept on a hard surface
at camp!) - but it's been worse over the past few weeks. I was
recommended an osteopath to go and see, so off I toddled yesterday.
And the diagnosis - I'm wonky! For whatever reason, I don't stand with
my hips levels and my spine cures. There's no difference in leg length
or anything like that, so it's "just" a case of straightening me out.
After spending an hour at the osteopath with her working my joints and
muscles I was given an exercise to do until I go back in a fortnight.
Sounds simple enough, but I have to stand with my bum, back, shoulders
and head as flat against the wall as I can for a minute every hour.
I'm having to push myself to stand like that - it doesn't seem
natural, but I guess that's my problem - my natural is not right!

Preparations going well!

Over the last few weeks we seem to have progressed in leaps and bounds
in preparing for Bubble's arrival. It really started the weekend that
Mum and Dad came and helped us move the furniture. Since then, we've
collected stuff from Stuart and Rach (baby bath, moses basket etc)
been and bought some extra chests of drawers that we needed (and
managed to avoid too much "Ikea tax" in the process), had a serious
look at pushchairs and car seats (although Dave won't commit any
deposits to it yet!), and got some tester pots of paint for the
nursery walls.

I'm starting to think more seriously about the birth. Can I have a
water pool at home anywhere - is there room, and can I have it
upstairs? What other pain relief options do I want? Just the last
week, I've been thinking that it's going to come early - not mega
early, but for whatever reason I'm not convinced I'm going to go to
term. Maybe that's part of the instigator for me trying to get things
sorted. The midwife doesn't seem to want to talk about it yet. I'm
sure she's said before that at about 27 weeks they like to come and
look at the house to check out parking, room size etc, but then last
time I saw her, she said it could wait until the new year and "not to
worry". I'm not worrying, it's just that by then I'll be 30 weeks plus
and that doesn't seem to me to allow much time.

I sent off a deposit for a NCT antenatal class, and have had an email
back to say, basically, that they're full, and are trying to fit me in
somewhere. I'm still going to the yoga class, which is good as we have
lots of discussion at the end over herbal tea and chocolate biscuits.
We're also booked into an active birth workshop with the yoga teacher
in January, which will no doubt be good. The midwife seems to think
that I should automatically get sent details of their classes, but
didn't seem too convinced. So what do I do? Just go with the flow, and
wait and see if NCT can come up with something? Ring up and hassle
them, or the midwives?

Talking of NCT, we went to a nearly new sale this morning. It's was
chaos with hoards of people queueing up. Still, we got a few bit of
basic clothing and a few small toys, a nice butterfly floor mat and a
mobile. I was hoping there might have been a puchchair or something,
but it's seems those had gone by the time we got in (and we were there
before they opened the doors!)

Bubble's been far more active over the past few days - to the point
where sometimes it's making me feel a bit sick (it's like a churning
in my stomach, and although I know it's a nice thing really, sometimes
it doesn't feel that way! At least it's not keeping me awake at night
- yet! Dave's really feeling it now as well, which he's happy about -
I think he felt a bit left out before, not really knowing what was
happening and not feeling entirely part of it, but now there's
something physical it makes it more real.

Daddy can now feel it

I'm now getting more excited (Daddy) about the impending arrival of Bubble. Not only have we started 'nesting' at home, but I can now feel it move occasionally. It's normally at night when Mummy is relaxed and it wakes up, but I can definitely feel some kicking and movements. Only the strong ones at the moment apparently, but there's something there!

22 weeks gone and counting!

Furniture Removal

This weekend has been spent moving furniture to create some space for
Bubble. My Mum & Dad came to help which was great. The little spare
bedroom is going to be the nursery, the study has become - or will
become - a playroom, and the study has been moved downstairs into the
garden room. All very complicated!
Daisy seems confused by the whole thing - we're suddenly going to be
using the garden room a whole load more, which was previously "her
room". And it's not helped by the fact that there's now a safety gate
across the playroom door to make it a dog-free zone for Bubble. She
certainly showed her objections this afternoon, when she left us a
smelly present while we were out shopping!
Now we just need to get a couple more bits of furniture, sell the bed
that's now in the garage (and the carpet that's been in there for a
while), and do some painting and decorating. Just? Well, that's the
"just list" for the actual rooms, there's still everything else that
needs thinking about - the birth, clothes, pram, names, etc etc etc!

A good week

It's been a good week this week: the scan; feeling pregnant, rather
than just fat; Bubble dancing away inside me. Maybe I'm just a late
bloomer!

Properly pregnant

Hurrah! I'm properly pregnant. By that, I mean I have a bump rather
than just being fat. It's official. A customer at the shop - who
hadn't been told (I checked!) - asked me when the baby's due, and then
wished me good luck. I could have given him a big hug!

Hurrah!

All is well with Bubble. Growing well (no change to the due date) and nothing abnormal detected on the scan - and there is only one! Even I could pick out bits on the scan - the spine, the four chambers of the heart - but a lot just looked like a blur of grey and white. The radiographer did point out other bits - hands, face etc, but we just ahve to trust she knows what she's talking about!

It behaved itself well for all the measurements and checks, but then wouldn't pose for the photograph. We still got one, but it's not very clear. Never mind, you can't have everything.

It's such a relief that my worries didn't come true - now I can start to get excited.

So now we can get on with the job of really preparing. Mum & Dad are coming in a couple of weeks time to help us move furniture around, so we can start to get nursery & dog-free playroom downstairs sorted. The following weekend we're off to Stuart & Rach's to raid their cupboards for baby gear. And then - you never know - I might be able to persuade Dave we can do a bit of shopping!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the 20-week scan. I'm still worried about it, still
niggling that something will be not quite right. But I've got to go to
find out, otherwise I'd just keep worrying and that's not doing me any
good at all.

I haven't really slept properly for a few nights (not just with the
worrying - bad hotel beds don't help either!) and now I'm tired as
well, which doesn't help the emotions. It's not taking much to set the
tears flowing. I'm trying to be positive, but for some reason it's
difficult. Hopefully I'll have more cheerful things to say tomorrow.

20-week scan

We've got the 20-week scan next Tuesday, and for the last couple of
days I've had niggling worries about it. Don't really know what about
it. Kind of the "What if..." thing, I think. I woke up last night and
was laid awake for a bit thinking about it. I really want it, because
I want to see Bubble, but I guess I'm scared that there's something
that I'm not going to like. I've got no groundings for this at all,
and maybe it's just me.
I mentioned it at the yoga class today, and it was pointed out that I
don't have to have it if I don't want it. Should I have it to set any
worries to rest? Should I not have it and just trust that nature will
make it's own way and everything will sort itself out?
I know Dave is looking forward to it, but I just don't know. It's all
quite scary - more so than the 12-week one, for some reason - and I
don't know what to think.

Yoga Classes

Been to my first pregnancy yoga class this afternoon. It's run by
Olivia, a woman trained under the Active Birth Centre
(www.activebirthcentre.com) and is designed to prepare you for labour,
birth and early parenting. Some gentle exercises, massage and
relaxation and then a chat over a cup of lemon and ginger tea! I've
never been to anything like this before, but everyone was friendly
enough and it wasn't too strenuous (although I'm aching just a little
bit!) I felt like the baby of the class - everyone else's babies are
due before the end of the year, so I'm quite a long way behind them,
but I've been reassured that new people join the class all the time,
so I'll soon feel like an old hand!

Bubble flutters

Over the past few days I've been feeling flutterings. Difficult to
describe really - a bit like gentle bowel movements, or butterflies.
People tell me that it's probably the first movements of the baby.
Great! It's not that often, and they're really faint - I have to be
quite relaxed and still to feel them at all. I'm hoping that it bodes
well for the future - a nice quite baby who isn't too much of a pest!!
Hmm, somehow I think not!

On a slightly different note, I'm having to spend money on clothes. I
bought a few bits a couple of weeks ago, but need more. This morning
at church I had a normal t-shirt (no maternity tops clean) on with a
cardigan over the top. I felt hot, but couldn't take the cardie off
'cos the t-shirt didn't really cover everything - not the best idea in
church! So I've just placed a few bids on eBay, so hopefully I might
have something to wear in a few days time. So far, the shops in
Sheffield have been not too helpful: Next wasn't stocking maternity
until they'd moved to the bigger store in Meadowhall (which might have
been this weekend actually); M&S have a small range in Meadowhall, but
nothing in town; not much at H&M fit me. Any more ideas? Where do
other people find all their nice maternity clothes, without spending
an absolute fortune?

Too much to do!

We're now 17 weeks through, and don't seem to have done anything to
prepare! Help! We've had a brief looks at pushchairs, have got a
long-ish list of names, but that's about it. There's furniture to move
around the house (and the house needs tidying/cleaning before we can
do that), decorating to do, shopping to do, money things to sort
out...

And that's without thinking about the pregnancy and birth, which I
guess should really come first. I've registered for NCT classes, but
haven't heard anything yet. I've just found out about someone in
Sheffield who does pregnancy yoga and Active Birth workshops, so I'm
going to sort that out as well. The more I read, the more I'm
convinced that I want a home birth, so there's things to think about
for that - making sure tings are clean, we've got everything we need
etc etc, and of course a birthing plan. Maybe I'm thinking a bit in
advance, but judging by what I've read you can never start too early!

I know there's about 5 months left, but Christmas is in the middle of
that (thinking money and energy here) and I certainly don't want to
leave everything until the last minute.

Heartbeat

Just been for my second appointment with the midwife. Everything going
OK. Still got some nausea, but I think it's more indigestion than
"morning" sickness, so I need to see the doctor to get a prescription
for Gaviscon to save me buying it all the time. Blood pressure fine,
nothing exciting in my urine, noting else to note.
She said there was only a 50% chance of hearing the heartbeat, but she
could try if I wanted. I wanted! And bless, Bubble is doing well - a
good strong heartbeat for all to hear! That's my baby!

more excitement

We've just come back from the doctor, after Bubbles 15 week appointment with the midwife. We were told that she could have a listen for bubbles heartbeat, but that there was only a 50% chance of hearing it at this point. As it turned out, it was fairly easy to find, and was quite strong. So, not only have we already got its first picture, we've now hear it too!

Bubble burps

The sickness died off a few weeks ago, and I thought that was it for
that. But no - the last few days I've been feeling rough again. The
sea bands have gone back on the wrists and I've been grazing in the
hope of reducing the symptoms. But this time it's accompanied by
Bubble Burps - at least I'm blaming Bubble! So, now Gaviscon has been
added to remedy list. I've only tried it today but, touch wood, things
do seem to be a bit better. Maybe I can get rid of the wrist bands?
But indigestion already? Is that right? Anyway, I'm at the midwife
again next Tuesday, so I'll ask her about it then.

I wish people would stop telling me that "14 weeks is when you start
to bloom"! That's just not happening for me. Spotty skin, still tired
a lot of the time, and feeling fat and sicky. Blooming my arse!

Feeling tired, achy and fat!

Every night I just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep by about
8.30pm? Is that normal? I'm so tired. Back to school this week as
well, so I don't have a day or two off in the week now either.
School's only mornings, not full days, but it does stop me having a
lie in. Still, after September I'll be back to 2 days pharmacy, rather
than the three I'm doing at the moment, so that'll give me a day back.
Hurrah!

And the achy bit - it's my neck and shoulders. Last Friday I woke up
and could barely move my head. That lasted over the weekend. It's
better than that now - at least I can drive the car and not grimace
every time I move - but I'm still very tense and achy. Dave went on a
mercy mission - bless him - to find a wheat bag, which helps but
doesn't solve the problem. Paracetamol doesn't touch it, and I don't
want to take anything else. I know a lot of it is just that I need to
relax, but that's quite difficult at the moment. Any suggestions?

Now the fat bit - my belly now sticks out as much as my boobs. And
that's saying something! I'm sure I shouldn't be this big at 13 weeks.
And the belly is not even round, it's got a lopsidedness to it. What
am I going to be like at 40 weeks?! Help!!!

The news is out!

I think pretty much everyone must know by now. If you don't, I'm
sorry! Everyone's really excited for us. Maybe more excited than we
are - although we have had a few weeks for the news to settle in.

Now there's so much to think about. We've had offers of stuff from my
brother, so we need to make time to go and see what is lurking in
their cupboards. I've got to think about maternity pay - I don't work
many hours at school, so don't know whether I'll get SMP from there,
and so need to find out what the alternative is for self-employed
people. Dave hasn't got a permanent job yet, so there's that hanging
over us. The list goes on...

At least I'm not really feeling sick any longer. Tired - yes! Brain a
bit scatty - yes! Off bananas - yes! But none of that horrible
sickness malarkey!

It's all now very real!

It's now all very real for us - we've seen the pictures to prove it. Up to now, it's all just been C feeling fat, tired, sick etc, along with the (faint) blue line, but now we've seen the pictures at the first scan, we've seen Bubble's head, body and limbs. He was wriggling about a bit this morning, and we now know everything appears to be OK.

The date we were given tallies exactly with what we thought (it's now 12 wks & 2 days), making the due date in early to mid March next year.

I now have to get on with securing a job to take the pressure from C to earn lots - and that is not proving an easy task! I am working on it, and praying that I'll get to know of suitable opportunities, and that someone will see my potential from the application!

Feeling fat!

What am I? About 10 weeks and already I'm feeling fat. Someone told me
the other day that I'm beginning to show - and we haven't even told
family and friends yet. We've got a few weddings coming up and I
needed something to wear - I've had to buy a maternity dress to make
sure it'll fit me by the last one at the end of October! I just feel
fat and fed up.
We weren't going to tell family and friends until after the scan next
Tuesday, but it's Dad's 60th birthday next Monday and the whole family
is going away for the weekend to Scarborough. It's going to be
impossible to hide it all from them - the feeling sick, the tiredness
and the big tum - so we've decided to tell them when we see them on
Friday. At least that way we can tell before they guess or ask.
Everyone else can wait until after the scan - telling my family is a
case of needs must!

Morning? sickness

Hmm! I don't know about morning - it seems to get worse through the
day. I've only actually been sick once, which I suppose I can be
grateful for. But bananas are off the menu, and I'm eating constantly
throughout the day in an effort to keep the worst of the feeling at
bay. How long does this go on for?

Midwife appointment

Been for the midwife appointment today. Not too exciting really. Just
a load of questions to check on how things are and I guess to
highlight any potential problems, and a load of booklets and leaflets
to bring home to read - it'll take until the baby's born to get
through them all!

Just a slight debate about the dates at the moment. I know when my
last period was, and I also know that they aren't 28-day cycles and
the earliest possible date for conception was. It doesn't exactly fit
with the date they work out from my period - she reckons 10 weeks, but
I reckon it's more like 8-9. It's made all the more confusing by the
fact that the "weeks" aren't counted from conception, but from the
last period, even if your cycle aren't the "perfect" 28 days!

Scan in 2 weeks, so they'll probably try and tel me something different then!

Scan Date

I've now got an appointment for the "12-week" scan. How exciting! It's
9.05am on Tuesday 28th August @ the Jessop Wing. I could have done
with it being during the week before but there wasn't any appointments
left. It's only because we're away BH weekend with all my family and I
can see it's going to be hard not saying anything while we're with
them.

I've also got an appointment to see the midwife at the local surgery a
couple of weeks before the scan. Not exactly sure what that's for but
hey!

The start of morning sickness?

I wouldn't say it's sickness, I just don't feel right on a morning.
More like that hungry, sickly feeling when you're tired and haven't
eaten properly. Is it morning sickness then? I can cope if it is and
it stays like this. But I'm dreading it getting worse over the next
two weeks at the jamboree - Sod's Law says it will though. I can't
think of much worse than feeling/being sick at camp :(

What a difference a bra makes!

Just been and got fitted for a new bra after the recent enlargement
procedure - and now the boobs feel a whole lot more normal. Hurrah!
Although they weren't as painful as a week or two ago, they were
permanently feeling uncomfortable and the thought of two weeks at camp
like that was not appealing.

Not quite rocks!

Hurrah! They don't feel quite as heavy and sore now. More like large stones now!

Big boobs!

Grr! They feel like 2-ton rocks...

Names

I know it's very early, but we can't help it!

We're already making lists of names we like. And already there's
disagreements. But there's also agreements, so that's OK.

It's really hard - a lot of names we like end in "e" sound, or their
nicknames do. And they don't sound much good with the surname Pinney.

I'm thinking about meanings and not just whether I like the sound, but
Dave doesn't seem to bothered about that bit.

We want something unusual - so all their friends won't have the same
name (No Jack or Ellie here!) - but we don't want to do too wacky that
no-one has heard of it, no-one can spell it or it's just plain mad!

Due date?

According to the date of my last period, it's going to be sometime
after 9th March. We'll get a better idea after the dating scan, but
that's close enough to be thinking about now!

Just been to the doctor

A few weeks after having told the doctor she was out of a job, 'cos I
was coping with my depression, I was back!

But this time it was really nice to go. She was running late and had
obviously had a bad day - but told me that her news had "made her
day!" which was really nice.

Took my blood pressure - OK - and chatted about what happens next -
antenatal appointments, foods to avoid etc - and that was it. I
thought she'd want a wee sample to check, but nothing.

OK, so it's not that bad

In fact it's good!

I'm fit and healthy. We're going to have a baby - an exciting, if not
scary thought. And the rest will sort itself out.

Dave went to the pub last night with Mark & Andrew, so I went round to
Mel and had a good chat about everything. As that old BT ad said "It's
good to talk"! And I do feel a lot happier about things now.

I'm still hungry and my boobs hurt, but it's not that bad! God is with
us and won't let us down - and that's good to know.

Thoroughly miserable

Dave heard today he didn't get the job in Derby, which means we're
potentially looking at him not having a permanent job, me locuming but
actually not wanting to do pharmacy at all, and a baby to look after.
I know it's nine months down the line and a lot can happen in that
time, but there just doesn't seem to be anything even on the distant
horizon.

He's upset about it, I'm upset about it and it's all doom and gloom.
We're off out for a meal to try and cheer us up. What I really want is
a big Baileys but sadly that's out of the question now!

It's all a bit surreal

This time last week everything was just bumbling along as "normal". And now things have changed! One small bit of plastic with a couple of windows and a blue line, and suddenly we're facing a whole new adventure.
Let's just say that it wasn't unplanned, but wasn't exactly expected. To be honest it's all happened a bit quickly and that's what makes it seem a bit unbelievable at the moment. I was excited when the blue line first appeared, and I still am, but it's more an unbelieving excitement now!
No "symptoms" as yet - no morning sickness or anything - and I guess that doesn't help make it any more believable. No that I'm complaining though - I can quite happily do without feeling sick each and every day of the next few months!
I've got a doctor's appointment for next Friday. Last time I went - just about 3 weeks ago - was going to be my last one for a while. I'm off my antidepressants now, feeling a whole lot better and life is hunky-dory, so the doctor said she didn't want to see me again - we even joked that she would be without a job if I wasn't seeing her! At least I'm going for a nice reason this time.